The ways of my love

By Gary Thompson

My love is a terrible curse

hiding, waiting inside my heart

penned up like a caged beast

waiting to ravage me once more

I tell myself not to love

because it only brings me pain

but that part of me that needs it

weakens me again

I see her, my love, before me

she pleasantly says hello

I feel the hunger within me

like a fool I return hello

What am I doing?

the pain begins to flow

how can I be in love

when she doesn't even know?

I struggle with the pain

and try to use my head

but the curse has taken over

I submit to it's power instead

The pain wells up inside me

I feel it from head to toe

it aches to be expressed

as the love I'll never know

She tries to be friendly

oh how her voice is sweet

my heart thunders inside me

but I just look at my feet

She fills my entire bieng

with hunger and longing combined

I know it will never happen

and I turn away ashamed

Every flirt is a knife

cutting into my flesh

while the blood goes unseen

the pain is very real

She thinks I'm mad at her

my heart skips a beat

I hang my head in sorrow

for my curse has brought me defeat

Doesn't she know, I'll give my life for her?

of course not, how can she know

she thinks I'm nothing more

than another fool in a row

This massive wellspring of love

wants nothing more than to flow

but how do I express it

in the dark with just myself

I tell myself it's best

if I just leave it alone

I tell myself forget her

it's an act in futility, I know

Here it comes, the pain

the screaming inside my head

the sorrow and anger I feel for myself

the curse is at a head

Death would be welcome

a bullet through my head

but I have not the courage

I shed my tears instead

A coldness wells up inside me

my love, she never knew

the beast within me is back in it's cage

my Love, she never knew

The curse of my terrible love

is hiding inside my heart

penned up like a caged beast

waiting to ravage me once more.